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Friday, August 23, 2013

Love, My Dear

Here's one new poem i dedicated for my beloved boyfriend!

Anxiety filled me up
Whenever you revealed your presence

Sincerity I felt
Whenever those brown eyes caught me

Ludricus I became
Whenever your voice jingled in my head
Whenever your face danced in my heart

Was it love
I wondered

But nothing ever came out of my brain
For my body can only say the unspeakable
For my mouth can only tremble as I thought of that fact
For my eyes can only see you in this vacancy
For my ears can only hear what others cannot
For this heart can only feel the unexplainable
“Love, my dear, love has found its way to me,” I thought
“Love, my dear, is asking
Whether or not you can accept it

Accept this love i have raised for you,” I told him.

-Stella-

Monday, August 19, 2013

That First Celebration

Heyya!

You know, since i haven't been posting since last year, i can't quite remember all the details of the events i wanted to write down. So i'll just skip and write about the recent special events. okay?

Abel's Birthday!

Yeah! It was his birthday! 18 of July! And I was so excited i even came up with a surprise party and Tata came up with a really, really, GREAT gift!!

At first, we all only wanted to do a surprise party consisting of distracting him from going home for about an hour after school, pouring water on him when he opened his house's door, and then letting him in with a decorated cheesecake~ but then Tata came up with these two magnificent ideas; a gift which is a printed cup of Vocaloid and glasses of hot cocoa to accompany the cheesecake.

We all simple agreed cause it was great! and then we started designing the cups~

I and Rotoko both made the designs ourselves and printed it right away. Even though the total price exceeded our expectations, we still bought it cause it was still within our reach.

And apart from the present, everything doesn't really matter. Except for the fact that i almost panicked when my budget to make the cake wasn't enough and i didn't have the size of tin i wanted. aghh how frustrating it was! Moreover, the cheese cream i bought wasn't warm and melted enough until i had to stir them for more than 2 hours!! and they were still not mixed!!

Until i gave up and just baked it. Well, fortunately, God was on my side and my cheesecake tasted really good! x3

Not just that, I and Rotoko also had trouble about how to get the ordered cups without making Abel suspicious?? And then Rotoko brilliantly came up with an idea of taking me to see Rata (a disguised name, of course)! Although i felt really bad for leaving Abel alone with Rotoko's brother at Rotoko's house :(( I really hated that part! ><

Well, thanks to that, I and Rotoko successfully took the cups and wrapped it nicely~ And what i meant by nicely wrapped is wrapped in about 10 layers and was really hard to open! MUAHAHA

Then the long awaited day came!

at that day, i was planning to make the counseling teachers to play the role of distracting Abel from coming home early. But they said that they had a meeting! Aghh! So i had to take that role, since Tata and Rotoko didn't know what to do to distract him.

Because of that, i embarassed myself and acted all crazy and stupid and like a lunatic! Gosh what an embarassing day! Dx

But thanks to that, Tata and Rotoko had enough time to prepare everything just right when i had no more excuses to keep him from going home.

Now we finally arrived at his house. Tata told me she was ready and after Abel parked his bicycle, i asked for his jacket cause i thought it wouldn't be nice to make it wet as well. But i forgot about his bag. Even though i knew his bag was waterproof. But Tata didn't know. And the whole "GET HIM DRIPPING WET" plan was almost ruined if it weren't for Abel giving up to being poured at. wkwkwk too bad it didn't go very smoothly as planned~

Then Rotoko came out and shouted a Happy Birthday! And then Abel went in and we told him to sit down and made a wish before he blew the candles! Of course, I had to prepare my camera first! hehehe

After he did that, we told him to change clothes while we were waiting for Rotoko to finish making the hot cocoa~ Then we told him to open the present!!!

Wow!! You guys should have seen it for yourselves! he was so happy, excited, embarassed, and so on!! He blushed, he couldn't stop smiling, and he was really happy!! xD aaaaaa how i love that expression!! xD

Moreover when he figured out the present and tasted my cake~ >//////< I was so happy that Abel, Tata, and Rotoko all loved my cake! hehehe this is the very reason why i love baking~ >////////<

And after we tasted the cake, we chatted for a long time and then we played card games! Hahaha it was my first time playing truff (correct me if the spelling is wrong), blackjack, and poker xD and it was lots of fun!haha xD

Well, too bad Abel's mom came shortly and asked as to go because she wanted to take Abel for dinner to celebrate his birthday. But it was fine, though. We had had enough joy xD

Well, it was basically the end~ but as a not-important side story, Rotoko and I decided to go to Tata's house to continue playing cards until I and Rotoko decided to go home~

Okay, end of this post! Byeeee!

-Stella-

Sunday, August 18, 2013

The Guy That Made My Whole Life

When I saw you
And the world stopped spinning
And the fireflies came around
That's the time 
When I knew
That the magnanimous Lord
Has given me a whole new life

Bela is the boy (maybe girl lol) that i fell in love with. He was a guy that had a SKANKY, BITCHY, AND DISGUSTING ex called SCUMBAG. Yeah how i hate that bitch.

Well, i first knew him from Robotics class and then we started chatting. And after a while, i found out about how SCUMBAG forced him to do things only a bitch and a jerk would want to do. He told me how he was always forced to do those and how he never knew about the real meaning of it. Although it is supposed to be a sacred and beautiful thing.

Since then, i made up my mind. I want to teach that a beautiful romance life between a girl and a boy IS A LOT BETTER than that scumbag. But apart from that, i didn't exactly remember since when did i start to like him. He was lovely. Cute and handsome, funny and smart, very creative and good with art, caring and give lots of attention. I liked him.

And as soon as we started to know how we felt about each other, our group, Psychoclub, got closer. At first, Tata and Rotoko didn't trust him that much yet. But as time flew, we got along really well.

Well, i know you guys are maybe not interested with all the boring details, so let's just stick with the main topic.

After a long i-like-you-and-you-like-me relationship, we started dating on seventh of January 2013. It was a day after my birthday celebration. My birthday is actually on the fifth. hehe

You know, he was so sweet. He wrote me a note with his beautiful calligraphic writing "Do you want to be my girlfriend?" and passed it to me during lunch time at school. He told me that he waited this long so that the happiness i felt since the day before my birthday won't stop now. hehe how sweet~

And then, my whole life is different~

He made me forget about Henry, he made my family like him, he made me a better person. 

But not just that, he made me believe in people outside my little circle of life once again. And that's how special he is to me~

-Stella-

Psychoclub is Formed!

Heyya guys!

i'm finally back on :3 thanks to someone who keeps blackmailing me everyday to post :P

hehe btw, i want to tell you guys about this new "club" i formed with my best friends at school.
As a start, you know Bela already, right? now, me and him are just so connected with our so called "normality" and one day, we made this thing called the "DUO PSYCHO" with a motto, "WE SCARE BECAUSE WE CARE". ahahaha~ crazy, huh?

now, when i told Tata and Rotoko about this, they were like laughing and said, "DAFUQ!" xD
but then this is how we start "Psychoclub" xD
since everyone is such a "normal" yet "psychotic" people. xD

well, actually, we started this club as a study club. we go to Bela or Tata's house every tuesday to study together~ well, we still do that, but now it's a bit different. now, almost everytime, you can only find the 4 of us. not only 1 or 2 or 3 of us. hehe~

Psychoclub is the start, then we all just get closer to each other. we came to Nakula (an event at my school) together and we even get some other guys to join! such as the Chiromancer, the GummyBear guy, Dede, Tata's big bro, and Ace's boyfriend. hehhee it was such a great evening! gosh! xD

Well, that's basically how it all started~ my whole new life with Psychoclub begins~

-Stella-


Monday, February 18, 2013

As Easy As Plants Grow

Another one, coming right up!
This is actually one of my favorite poems. Eventhough i know it's not that good.
But i remember very well, that i write this one with my heart full of sadness and my mind focused on describing all of my feelings with words..

As simple as clapping hands could be
My mind and heart
Keep reminding me of you

As easy as a bird could fly
I can never stop thinking of how stupid i was

As difficult it is for a tiger to soar
I can never for get how much i love you

As crazy it is to see a turtle runs
I can never let go of you

I may have moved on
To another heart
So warm i almost thought it was you
So bright i almost believed it was you
So close to me i almost said it was you..

But somehow i know
How much difference you and him have
So far
Yet seem as thin as a red thread
That ties my finger
And never shows where the other end is..

Cause i still remember all about you
While my mind wanted me to know everything
About him..

Don't you know how hard it is
To have a heart
That walks two separate ways?

Don't you know how hard it is
To suffer from thinking about you
While i have promised not to?

Don't you know how hard it is
To feel such a pain from guilt
When i know i can never walk away from it?

As easy as plants grow
My words flow like the sun is not rising again
And the stars aren't sailing the galaxy again
Smooth and puring
Cause these words come from my inner heart
Wishing you will read it
Someday
Somehow...

-Stella-

Losing and Emptiness

This might be a poem from 1,5 years ago, but i'm still gonna post it.
hehehe just to make sure that this poem won't be deleted just like that

Enjoy~

For me
Losing you means

Losing my dreams
Losing my hopes
Losing the smile on my face
Losing the colours of my days
Losing the happiness in my heart
Losing the warmth i have within me
Losing the peace i have yet to found completely
Losing the love i really don't want to lose
Losing my source of power
Losing my energy
Losing my mind
Losing,,,
Myself...

All that's left in my heart
Is not even close to ordinary
Cause
Sadness
Hatred
Dissapointment
Anger
Are piling up

I can't smile
I can only cry
I can only put an expressionless face
I can only put an empty look

I only see grey and black through my eyes
As dull as watching an old TV
As hurtful as seeing the Grim Reaper come

No more rainbows
Like the ones i saw when you're around
Cause you're gone
With all those things
Taking all the good things left in me
Robbing my life

Left me wandering with no direction
Left me being so pathetic
Left me being so weak
Left me being so fragile
Left me being so,,,
Empty...

-Stella- 

Jugun Ianfu

Anybody know something about 'Jugun Ianfu'?
It's a name made for the victims of Japan's invasion in Indonesia. To be more exact, the sex slaves.
Me and my friends have this project for nationality subject to make a newspaper with a specific case with the topic 'Human Rights'. And because i didn't come to school when the case is decided, my other group members decided this topic.

I made this poem to complete the newspaper. You know, normal newspaper would sometimes have poems, short stories, crossword, etc as an entertainment, and so, because my friends now i love writing poems, they asked me to make one.

So, here goes nothing!

Tak lagi dapat berbunga
Tak lagi dapat bersinar

Tiada tersisa air mata
Tuk melampiaskan getir dalam diri yang ternoda ini

Tiada tersisa suara
Tuk keluarkan isak tangis
Tandakan getaran pedih dalam hati yang dihina ini

Tertutup senyuman tanpa hasrat
Keinginan untuk pulang pun tertunda

Hanya sedikit gula lah yang diminta
Namun bagai binatang kelaparan
Semua dilahap
Tak tersisa sedikit pun tuk Bekas Jepang ini

Hanya kebahagiaan tuk buah hati yang diminta
Namun bagai habis akan rasa iba
Tak dihiraukan semua jeritan hati itu
Sirna sudah
Harapan Manusia Kotor ini

Menunggu dewa dalam hitam menjemput
Menerima seluruh lekuk benang merah
Berharap tuk pulang secepat mungkin
Meringankan ngilu akibat liku perjalanan

-Stella-

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